Unraveling

Dreaming Life

 

For Big Tent Poetry prompt  Cascade Poem
http://bigtentpoetry.org

Dreaming Life

In dreams anything can happen.
Life gets turned around, up is down,
fear only grows at lonely awakening.

Today, while I slept, you crept close,
tried hard to awaken me. I woke knowing
in dreams, anything can happen.

When you left, years ago, I crept inside myself.
Grief can be an unending nightmare, where
life gets turned around, up is down.

Once we loved and could not be driven apart.
Lived inside a dream, believing it would never end,
but now, fear only grows at lonely awakening.

Elizabeth Crawford  11/18/10

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27 Comments

  1. The poem carries its emotions to an earned ending—beautifully composed and sad.

    • I had a difficult time deciding what to write for the cascade. I’d never tried it before. But, once I began, it all sort of fell into place, which I’m fairly certain, it was meant to do, lol,

      Elizabeth

  2. This was done so very well…an amazing piece of writing…

    • Thank you Cynthia, I’m just amazed that it all came together,

      Elizabeth

  3. My gosh this is so haunting you did very well with this prompt I could almost feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up!

    • Thank you Amanda, certainly didn’t set out to bring anyone discomfort. Was more concerned with getting the form down correctly,

      Elizabeth

  4. This somehow touched me. However much we wish to escape that loneliness is always touching us…by hook or crook…

    claustrophobia

    • You got that one right, Gautami. Loneliness is always there in some shape, form, or color. I did enjoy doing the form, and will probably do it again, hopefully on a more upbeat level,

      Elizabeth

  5. Elizabeth,
    A poignant piece. Well constructed.
    Pamela

    • Once I got into the doing of the form, it became simple. But, I’ll admit, I’d dithered around with just the idea for a while before actually trying it. Thanks for reading and commenting,

      Elizabeth

  6. This is beautiful and poignant. Well written cascade.

    • Thank you Victoria. The form was new and I was a bit tentative about trying it, but once started it all fell into place, just as it was supposed to do. And yes, I was surprised, lol. But, even more glad that I tried it,

      Elizabeth

  7. This poem is so good! I agree that it is very haunting. It’s easy to write about a break-up but it’s difficult to do it so the emotions take center stage without being maudlin. But, that’s what you’ve managed to do. This is one I’ll remember.

    • Linda, thank you very much and I’m glad you enjoyed it. And I agree about the maudlin statement. Somehow, the form took over and sort of guided me through it. I will definitely try it again,

      Elizabeth

  8. Wow. Up/down. Dream/waking. Inside/out. I love this.

    • Thank you Robin, once started it didn’t take long and that surprised me. I like all types of poetry and have tried many. Find that each has its own merits. This one is self-propelling and I really like that.

      Elizabeth

  9. Tastefully crafted cascade!

    Thank you Tumblewords. Carefully crafted with a beginner’s jitters, I would say, lol.

    Elizabeth

  10. nan

    You made the cascade unwind gracefully and naturally! Very good poem. Sad.

    Nan, I like the gracefully, but as I’ve read through the other responses, have become aware that, that might be the intent and purpose of this form. It lends itself to almost any subject, giving it a voice and structure. Not a bad device at all. Sad, yes, but very human when trying to shake ones self loose from dreaming rather than waking,

    Elizabeth

  11. What a very sad poem. It shows, what is of value, is always valued. And we will miss them all our days. In dreams the distance is not so great, but the pain may remain.

    Annell, and I am of a mind that the pain is caused by those few minutes of dreaming that brings them close, only to make the distance more pronounced upon waking. But, awaken me must.

    Elizabeth

  12. Beautiful, Elizabeth. I enjoyed this very much.

    • Thank you Kelly, I’m glad that you enjoyed it,

      Elizabeth

  13. simply beautiful… the creak of new beginnings… getting use to sleeping alone… making coffee for one…

    • Ms Pie, am sorry to disappoint you but
      1. I have lived with arthritis since age 17, so creaking is a part of my existence.
      2. Have been sleeping alone for over twenty years, and have come to prefer it.
      3. I never drink coffee. Keep some on hand for those who do.

      Not making fun, just setting the record straight. And you are correct about beginnings. This piece is built on a current series I am doing for the PAD Challenge about a relationship that began over twenty years ago. It wasn’t my plan to write the series, it simply happened with the particular prompts that have been given. My way of beginning often deals with looking back and seeing where I have been. This dream came the day before I actually wrote the poem. I am beginning to see things differently. And I happen to like it when others find things, associations, in what I have written that make sense to them, whether intended or not. So, thank you much for the imput,

      Elizabeth

  14. b_y

    I enjoyed your use of the form.  You caught both the rhythm and the sense of the inevitable that it gives. I’m still learning that it can get out of hand.

    • Lol, so true, and being a beginner, I kept my first stanza to three lines so I could avoid biting off more than I can chew. But, I really like the form, like what it actually builds into the words and rhythms themselves. It might be a simple form to do, but its not easy to accomplish. A good learning experience. And thanks for the comments,

      Elizabeth

  15. Really well done cascade, Elizabeth. Very poignant.

    • It’s very interesting that several people have used the words sad and poignant. I keep reading it and simply find it real and true. Waking alone could be sad, but it often becomes the impetus to new beginnings, new life, new directions. Awareness is the price we pay for being conscious beings, and living life as fully as possible. Sadness is a part of the whole picture, which wouldn’t be complete without it. Don’t you think?

      Thanks for visiting and commenting,

      Elizabeth

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